Jobs In Search!!

salam alaik

actually its not today

but on 3rd of december recently

searching for job opportunities with

my friend of course

the names..

i might as well as 'keep it secret'

:)

first of all

we supposed to meet at the

padang batu muda tambahan at 10 am 

one of my friend is earlier than me

*actually im a little bit late*

but another one really came late about 30 minutes or more perhaps

hah! sleepy head

today is really an

embarassing day

yet

really enjoyful

2 places that we applied for jobs

domino's pizza

and

cashier in Giant

funny part is

my earliest friend

is soooooo nervous when applying for the jobs

actually, i felt normal

nothing to be nervous about

another funny part is

we got lost!

as it is because we decided to go to SOGO

n end up lost in the middle of the road

haah!

thankfully we manage to find the correct bus to take us home

most of all

i forgotten to pay my father's phone bill that

we have to go to giant again

*well of course! dont wanna my dad to be angry*

*i can imagine if i dont pay, i would had been scolded*

and i dragged my two friends along

eventhough they are completely exhausted and tired

sorry guys

im not really good on the roads by myself

in the end, we arrived home almost asar

but alhamdulillah we manage to perform our prayer

:)

p/s: i dont wanna talk about the embarassing moments.. because its about me.. guhh.. anyway, im waiting for the call that will inform me that "YOU'VE GOT THE JOB!" hopefully.. pray for me yea. salam.. :)

TADAIMAA!! :D

~Bismillah hirahman nirahim~

~Assalamualaikum~

TADAIMA!!

Its been a long time since i've updated my blog

so far in my life

there are good things and also bad things happening around me

like an english quote:

"LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES"

better keep it in mind

so that we can go through with our lives without complaining

for the good things are...

jeng jeng jeng

im in a smooth mood with my former friend right now

to be exact, my EX

pretty good huh..

and most of all

I HAD FINISHED MY SPM PAPERS!!

wooohoo..

i also learned a few or more things that are really worth it

that makes me say that

im really proud to be a muslim

im really proud to be a woman

im really proud to be who i am right now

:)

for the bad things are

i think that i spoiled up in my SPM paper

full of regrets

but theres nothing to do except tawakal

pray to Allah SWT

for a good results after i had done all my best

and the other bad things are

......................

*i've forgotten*

hah

i dont usually remember bad things that happen to me

i just see it as a trial for me

to be patience

to think about the rationality

to take moral values

rather than being down, frustrated, irritated or even feeling miserable

what's the point?

dude

you're just wasting your life being like that

without any initiative to make it better

rather that go on

and humiliated people openly in facebook

what would you get?

nothing in benefits

but 'SINS' in the unbeneficial way

think about it

just live you life happily

dont mourn it

and theeennnn

there will be some people will say

'you don't understand. you are always happy. you dont know what i've gone through.'

to be honest

thats what people always say to me directly in my face

true

i felt irritated

i felt like an alien with no feelings

i felt like "ohh im the only happy person here"

i felt like an arrow just pierced my heart

and i felt like"who am i actually in your eyes?"

i think about it really hard

like brainstorming for my exams about it

then, in conclusion

i say to myself

"my friends just dont know me"

"they say it because they didnt think about me"

and then i just let it be

pretending to be normal

i dont want it messed up with my life

that are too packed with something else

but i dont blame them

my fault of not telling them

actually i do feel like that

i've hurt soo much hearts already than

all of them hurt my heart

and of that, im sorry in my deepest heart

all of it is never meant to be done like that

this is my heart expressions... 

why that when im a bit clever than you, you would say

"hawa, you are clever already. you dont have to study"

"oh hawa, you dont need jus A, you already clever"

"ahh just go back home, you dont have to attend extra classes"

when i dont open my books in class

"yelaa.. budak da pandai kann"

when suddenly i've made alot of careless mistakes

"dont cry hawa, dont cry hawa", like mocking me

just for you info

im not that proud when all of you say

those thing to me

in fact

it really smashing my feelings

and so you know

im not clever

my brain development is sooo far that yours

you are suppose to be clever than me

i never be proud of being clever

as none of you ever asked me in class

actually i felt like im a bastard

you leave me when you want to

sometimes you really pissed me off

i sort of knowing that you dont actually like me

*just my feeling*

in the end

i dont mind

you are still my friend

i never blamed you

in fact i still care

i never keep a revenge

a piece of advice

NEVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE

just let me experience it

thats all.. salam..

p/s: not related at all with the headlines.. just noticed after i'd type all of it.. :D apologize a to be give if there are any harsh word that i've typed on my blog.. i dont know any other words to replace it in english.. haa.. farewell..

SO JUST YOU KNOW

Berhala Dalam Jiwa~

berhala dlm jiwa ~

sounds scary rite ? it is scary

pmbntukan brhala dlm jiwa


berhala biasa ditakrifkan sbg patung,objek yg dsmbah, diagung-agungkan. makna lain , berhala ialah apaapa yg dismbh melainkan Allah . tidak smstinya dlm bntuk objek , bahkan juga dlm bntuk ism (unsur) atau perkara .


persoalan TERPENTING buat diri kita , apakah wujud berhala dlm hati kita ?


di dlm hati wujud berhala ?


ya, mngkin shj kita tidk sedar akn kehadiranny


 adkh di dlm hati anda wjud berhala ?


mari kita samasama menilitinya .


bagaimana wujudny berhala dlm jiwa ?


berhala dlm jiwa wjud apabila kita mlbihkn perkara lain drpd Allah shingga ia dirasakan lbih pnting dan diutamakan lbh drpd Allah. scr tidk lngsg, 'berhala' sudah terwujud dlm diri kita .


sgala ketaatan , ketundukan dan pengorbanan dberikan mlbihi ap yg kita brikan kpd Allah. silap hari bulan, kita lgsg tidak mmbri ketaatan, ktundukn dan pngorbanan kpd Allah .


di titik ini, berhala sudah wujud .


walaupun mulut mnyatakan bhw kita tidk mnymbh selain Allah, ketahuilah ssungguhny keimann itu bukn dgn kata-kata shj. ia adlh ap yg tersemat di dlm hati dan dbuktikn dgn amal. 


skrg kita perhati dlm khidupn kita , ad prkaraprkara yg mmbuat kita mngendahkn arahan Allah , mringanringankn perintah-Nya dn mndktkan kita pd larangan-Nya ?


maka itulah BERHALA KITA .




penangan berhala dlm jiwa


kesannya , sdh pasti kita akn lbih jauh dr Allah . 


cthnya :

•  mnonton bola di stadium , shingga solat ditinggalkan .

• mndgr lagu-lagu lbih byk drpd mndgr dan mmbaca Al-Quran

• hukumhukum Allah ditinggalkan .

• khusyuk dgn permainan komputer shingga terlupa tuntutan sbg hamba.

• bekerja dan studi nak rak shinggakan printahprintah Allah sprt solat diringan-ringankan .

• memuja-muja ssuatu mlbihi pujaannya kpd Allah.

• baru diajak meninggalkan berpasang-pasangan, sudah sprt tercabut sparuh nyawa.

apabila wujud dua cinta berlawanan, satu perlu dikorbankan .

selaluny manusia mngorbnkan cinta Allah . mrk mngutamakan berhala dlm jiwa mrk , krn nafsu sudah mnguasai hati mrk . apakah kita sbhgian drpd mereka ?

jd , renung-renungkanlah . berusahalah utk meruntuhkn berhala dlm hati kita ini .

Ya Allah , jdkan kami insan yg mmpunyai keimann yg tguh terhdapMu Ya Allah . jauhkan kami drpd menduakanMu Ya Allah . tempatkanlah kami dalam golongan org-org yg beriman ya Allah . Maha Agung Engkau ya Allah , Maha mendengar lagi Maha Mengasihani .

amiin ~

p/s: i copied this from my freind's blog.. for those who read this.. hopefully you can take value from it.. salam..

Formation Completed!!

yes!

the formation is already completed

all is left is to insert the "gaya"

hee~~

but

there is still some people is a troublesome

at the last minute

they want to get out of the platoon

oh what a shitting shit!

2 of pengakap is joining us to fill up the platoon

but still short 2 persons

gotta fill them up soon

p/s: oh, can we make it?? okay2.. i must believe in myself n my platoon.. hopefully we do well during the competiton.. insyaAllah~

 

Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al-Masrie is in my SCHOOL!! ~

 im so like

AHHHHHH~

when Dr Sheikh Muszaphar is coming to my school

heck yeah im so excited

but i did not scream like a maniac like other girls do

=.=

but

his smile is so mesmerising..

GOSH

no wonder all the other girls melt like ****

good part is

i took part in a pantomime about Dr. SMS biography

along with

sakinah, farah, nabila, amalina, hafizah, hajar, ezzatie, 

aceh, afiq, arif, salihin, fahkri, abid, effy, meor, alif

it is soo damn fun!!

even Dr SMS likes it

wahhh

i wanna scream

but i will not

haha

do check the video

in my facebook profile XD

i really hope that we can present it in front

of him

but due to lack of time,

it is not possible.. =.=

anyway

he likes it

p/s: damn.. it is so great.. wanna do it again with all of you guys..

 

 

BITTER HEART~ =.=

this post is for all krs members

boys and girls

i dont know what to say anymore

but my heart becomes bitter to all of you

please lah

i do this for you guys too

i want to help you all

to get certificates and curricular marks

i want to help you all to get A in 10% koko

and i want to help myself too

i want to futher my studies in a great universities

please

help me and help yourselves

come on..

give me some cooperations

i am willing to sacrifice my extra classes for all of you

i am willing to teach you

it is all for me

the only thing that can contribute me a certificate

p/s: hopefully all of you think about your future.. co-curricular is important too.. although you get straight A's nut B in ur 10% co-co, it will be no use.. your name will be the last in the list of those who gets straight A's.. think about it.. dont waste your chances.. i pray that all of you present this monday..

Quarrel~ =.=

today i quarrel with someone

my best friend

i thought she was angry at me

because that boy ask me to be the mc today

for the maulidur rasul in our school

but actually, she just wanted to be the mc since she was form 1

we text

and quarrel about everything

why do you do that, why do you do this

then, we expressed all of

our feelings that we kept for years..

it felt a little bit relieve though

glad to have that conversation

although all that we kept is so painful

that struck directly to our heart,

but i wont cry

i wont say sorry for myself

sorry is a weakness

crying is a weakness

i want to be strong

i am tough

i am not desperate

i will not sulking easily

i will not cry easily

i will not take something hurt in my heart easily

thats because i always think positively

n i always want to be happy

keeping myself busy

so that, i will forget those shitting things in my life

eventhough it is just for a while

i cant be tension all day

thats why i always be friends with my friends like mad

p/s: hey, i wanna us to be better together.. i love being friends with all of you guys.. you all are the lights to my darkness of loneliness.. i dont want to be alone.. thanks for being by my side.. :)

Maulidur Rasul~

haha.. must be weird.. why we celebrated maulidur rasul so late??

it is because

we were having our examinations

for 3 WEEKS!!

this year is quite a troublesome

im the mc along with asyraf amrin

something went wrong n we missed to say the pk HEM's name

it is because, she sat on the 3rd row, n we didnt realise it

then, for the doa recitation

faiz didnt get the doa ready

n i have to run in front of all teachers and students

to get him in front

and

he didnt get the text ready (!)

arghh

what a disaster

both of us just waited while looking at our headmistress

she looks unhappy

NOT HAPPY AT ALL

and im unhappy too because
i quarrel with my friend
sakinah najwa
a little misunderstanding

he betted that, the teachers will sound us for this

all went wrong today!!

but there is also good news :D

our class gets an award!!

yeah!!

for the best banner

look !!
5 ARIF

for clothing is 5 Inovatif

for sepanduk is 4 Cekal

n for the whole competition is 5 Cekal

i didnt really perticipated in the perarakan

i stay back as a mc and need to rehearse for the kalam jamaie

n alhamdulillah

the kalam jamaie is a success

p/s: now we have to keep ourselves busy with the presentation on monday.. the pentomen.. hope its going well as today's presentation.. hopefully a day rehearse will be okay..



BOYS~

..boys..

..somewhat i feel that i need someone in my arms..

..someone that i need close..

..you are the wonderful ones that i may have wanted..

..to futurely be mine..

..in a bond of marriage..

..to hug..

..to kiss..

BUT

why are some of you didnt try to understand?

is it so hard for you to hear for explaination?

deep in my heart

althought i wanted

but i really think boys SUCKS

why when we girls say something

that is for your own benefit

but you think differently?

we say you should behave

doesnt mean that

"shut up!! you are a pain in the ass"

we didnt say that right?

we just want you to behave

your behaviour right in the moment

is so not suppose to exposed publicly

then, when we say we cared someone else

does it meant by

"i hate you!! go AWAY!!"

NO!

that is a fraud

never ever is that way

could we just be friends?

you say we "are" friends but you act like a "not"

you say you are down because of us

then, why dont you think that

we are down because of you?

why are you boys so not understanding.. you say we girls are the one who doesnt understand.. but look at you.. you dont understand us either.. you just with your own thoughts and never gave us the chances to explain so there is no misunderstanding.. maybe you are hurt by us.. but didnt you think that we may be hurt by yours? come on think! dont be a pain on the neck..

say.. to "you".. surely you wont ever read my blog.. but for your info.. im really hurt by you.. those irritates words.. those shitting words you say to me and about me.. its not me to be blamed.. its shitting you.. go fucking to your life.. and never ever say that im the one who left you.. in reality.. it is you who dumped me.. can you recall back.. what makes us like this.. it is you.. you always made me felt guilty of what i do.. everything i do is an error.. all i want is a shit for you.. my problem are always said to be an excuses.. you never wanted to hear my explaination.. you just called that an excuses.. and you are the ones who makes me this shitting hurt.. and this is the worst regret i ever had.. what do you know about the truth.. the truth about me.. the truth about anything.. and for your shitting info.. i never sees you as my number one priority!! take your fucking ass away from here!

boys.. you are the WORST!!

p/s: i really felt like screaming to your ears so that you hear us n want to shoot you in the heart so that you feel what we feel.. but i cant.. you are my friends.. please be understanding..

REAL buzy week!!

damn.. what a busy week.. well.. i like being busy.. XD

when we are busy, we can forget silly things for a while

starting next week, ppi society must prepare for the maulidur rasul

we will be having kalam jamaie

just a week rehearse n friday will be the performance day

but i must handle the kawad

(if all of them came for the training =.=)

the intonation.. oh man n the participant for this..

next, gotta prepare for the presentation of 7th march

when Sheikh Muzaffar is coming

going to do a pentomen

BUT

who are sporting enough to give us cooperation??

props??

what an occupied week.. but who cares.. its fun.. :D

p/s: but im working hard.. :)

I Want You But I Want My Career More~

im really looking like an idiot.. feel like a crossbow bolt being shot directly to my chest and piercing my heart.. :'(  why im still hoping.. like shit! n there that otoko, saying things like im the one who didnt appreciate.. dont you know that im still hoping.. but now i am like an idiot for thinking that way.. it is out of my league..

i love my career more.. n i am going to do my super best to get my career done first.. its been in my whole dream to get that job.. but i cant take that job if i dont get 4 flat.. is that hurting you that the fact i make my future as a priority? i just want to be a successful person.. is that even illegal.. it is not easy to be a doctor.. n tell me why should i be shitting care about you being my partner?

 okay.. if you want this than it is okay.. no one has to know.. i dont understand you and you dont understand me either.. so stop for shouting out loud telling everybody that i dont understand you.. i get it.. i trully get it.. its fine with me.. let me suffer more.. please get out of my mind if you really dont care anymore.. dont go off staring at me anymore if you wanna say bad things about me.. dont hope for me if you dont wanna hope for me.. go away! get lost! go and say your story n life to the other onnas.. and say to your friend, stop looking at me like im sort of garbage or something filthy.. i didnt do anything wrong to her.. it irritates me.. if you dont want to look at me, then fine.. dont look at me.. and begone with those shitting words and that stupid faces you and your friend gives me.. leave me alone! i have enough guilt already.. why cant you just leave me alone..

i try to see you as my friend.. but look at you.. and look what you say.. isnt that is the same as what you say that im that kind of person.. oh, now im really wasting my time explaining things that you wont even try to understand no matter how much i try.. then get lost from my life..

Which One Is The Truth??

story about some complication in my organisation.. i dont know which one is right.. i just want to stick to the end.. i love my friends.. but why are they doing this? why are some people doesnt even treasure their friendship? arent friendship is the light to our darkness of loneliness?



who is actually have two faces? who is the one plotting something bad? n who is the one to blame of.. i dont know.. both sides are my friends.. n i cant really tell who is right and who is wrong.. its so confusing.. i feeling like im stuck in the middle.. although that one side, we are not really close.. still, friend is a friend..

why dont we just hug each other and forget about revenge, vengence and all of it? and see our good times together.. stop being selfish and ego.. start hearing others good advices rather that stick to your own opinion? sometimes our own opinion is not good enough.. our thoughts are limited.. if we connects and share our opinions, our knowledge can be widen n conclude the best opinion on board.. stop being ego damn it!! what good would it do by being ego? 

i dont want anyone to change this year.. but it seems like everyone is changing!! but why? i thought we really gonna be friends.. what makes everyone changed? it makes me sank into water for crying out loud so that none of you see my tears! never show you weakness.. im happy with my friend eventhough sometimes they really dumped me like im invincible.. i was really convinced that it is all my negative feelings.. so its okay :)

p/s: so, lets get along together.. friendship is precious as long it does not go over the limits.. :)

Hey, I Know What You're Having Through.. =.=

..oh my friend..

..just want you two to know..

..i know its been hard for you to..

but i just wanna see you two back together again..

..i know its hard..

..because i've been through it..

..you want to talk, but every word is silent..

..it becomes too painful n makes us flashed back of what we have done wrong..

..guilt surrounds every inches of ou lives when you saw each other..

..but, at least you try..

..dont feel regret like i am..

..you two can still work out to be friends..

..i will be praying for you both..

p/s: i was.. not was, but really hoping that we could all be friends forever.. insyaAllah..

Couple : Are Your Partner Is Yours?~

Nowadays, many boys and girls like to be in a relationship that called COUPLE. It becomes a trend where even a Primary School student as early as Standard Six began coupling. I didn't care about how or why they make out this kind of relationship, just what am I concerned is how they treated their couple partner. I've seen too many statuses at my Facebook that related with how they treat their partner. Those who are okay with their relationship, I'm fine with it. But when it comes to the problematic relationship, I can't take my eyes of it. Sometimes I've felt really irritated and angry when some boys or girl fight over their relationship. I know that they owned their Facebook account, but what they posted on Facebook will become public and anyone around the world could see it! Doesn't they felt ashamed??

One of the main reason of their fighting is JEALOUSY. One question to be asked here, do you think that your couple partner is yours? Do you think that when you couple with some boy or girl, that's make them yours, FOREVER? The answer is no, right? You just being in a relationship with them, not bought them into your life! So why you want to control their life by limiting their connection with other peoples because of jealousy? Yeah, I know what is your answer. Jealousy is a way to show that you do care to your partner. Guess what, YOU'RE TOTALLY WRONG! If you do care, you should understand them, accompany them, believing them and at most, make them happy being with you.

I've seen some statuses at Facebook that some boys or girls angry because another people came to seduced or interrupting their partner and relationship. Okay, here is how it works. If your partner REALLY loves you, she or he would ignore or deal with them accordingly. No need to be angry or insulting them on your Facebook like they would read it. It's your friends who read it and thus making other people angry by reading it. If you don't like them, don't be a coward that just can type an insulting status. Why don't you go to see that people and deal with them yourself? But for me, you should not be angry, because your partner aren't yours yet! Why would you guys fight over a person that wouldn't sure to be married with you? What a stupid things to do!

Some of you also had been limiting your couple partner life by preventing them to be friend with some people, preventing them from doing what they used to do, denying them to make something they want to do and so on. One question here, why do you do that for? They aren't yours yet, so why bother to control what they want to do in their life? Do you know what relationship means? Here is the meaning :-

Respect

Easy going

Love

Admire

Tender

Inspire

Open minded

Natural

Steady

Helpful

Indulge

Partner

Do you see any CONTROL word in the meaning above? So DON'T CONTROL your partner! Let them do whatever they want to do. If they do really love you, they should know what to do to make you happy. Being in a relationship is a happiest thing, not a sad thing. Just being single if you can't be happy in a relationship. That's more better.

p/s: copied from other's blog.. hee.. XD  

Oh Please~ :'(

somewhere in my heart still hoping.. but i dont know.. i am really confused.. who.. i let em go, but still hoping.. while hoping on that, im hoping for the others.. =.= owh mann.. how can this be resolved? ahh forget it.. open your book n read.. read about Kylar Stern!! " I'll kill you for it" haha.. kidding..

~VICTIM~

okay.. who's gonna be my victim next?? haha..

Wilayah Marching Competition.. :D

arrived at the Dataran Merdeka about 8.. im soooo nervous.. its unimagineable.. =.= before our turn, we see those boys from TTDI.. perghhh... smart gler seyh.. all their movements.. their gaya.. sooo unique.. i never seen it before.. n every movement are so sharp n they do it together like they are one.. sooo coooollll.... :D

meet my friend from the kenaikan pangkat camping that is Seyha.. :) meet her when we are going back home..

okay.. its our turn now.. n im the one who caused all the riot in our team.. i accidentally gave wrong command with the wrong timing leg.. i felt miserable.. =.= n worst is when they say that i smiled when i makes mistakes.. OMG!! i didnt even realised it.. after we keluar baris.. automatically i shed my tears.. i cannot hold it.. i trully felt miserable with my nervouses that makes it looks bad..

althought i think like that.. ckg azean, my sis, atie, hajar, yana, vino, kak rini, acap, ridhwan n others says that i did well.. well but i think im not good enough..

most of all.. my praises for my fellow squad.. you're 'perlahan jalan' for today is the smartest one among all of our training days.. im sooo proud of u all.. n thanks that you all cover me up during the commad "tukar langkah".. i know i really made a big mistakes there.. n thanks for not blaming me although that i think that u all will blame me.. of all our trainings.. number 4 is worth it.. :D

#p/s: i will do my best n repair my mistakes for the zone competition.. wish me luck guys.. x)

Marching Competition

date : 12th February 2011 ( 2 days more)
avenue: Dataran Merdeka
time: not sure.. maybe about 10.00 am - 4.00 pm
num : P9

okay.. the uniforms are all set.. :) all that is left are the formation.. but, still.. it is not good enough.. need more slogans n style.. =.='

but thats okay.. we just have to do our best.. n pray for success.. Amin~

weyhh.. hopefully i dont screwed up when giving orders as the kp.. still my throat doesnt seem to be comfortable.. hey, just hope that i didnt accidentally cough at the juries.. haha..

*looking forward for the kawad berirama from TTDI again.. :)