BOYS~

..boys..

..somewhat i feel that i need someone in my arms..

..someone that i need close..

..you are the wonderful ones that i may have wanted..

..to futurely be mine..

..in a bond of marriage..

..to hug..

..to kiss..

BUT

why are some of you didnt try to understand?

is it so hard for you to hear for explaination?

deep in my heart

althought i wanted

but i really think boys SUCKS

why when we girls say something

that is for your own benefit

but you think differently?

we say you should behave

doesnt mean that

"shut up!! you are a pain in the ass"

we didnt say that right?

we just want you to behave

your behaviour right in the moment

is so not suppose to exposed publicly

then, when we say we cared someone else

does it meant by

"i hate you!! go AWAY!!"

NO!

that is a fraud

never ever is that way

could we just be friends?

you say we "are" friends but you act like a "not"

you say you are down because of us

then, why dont you think that

we are down because of you?

why are you boys so not understanding.. you say we girls are the one who doesnt understand.. but look at you.. you dont understand us either.. you just with your own thoughts and never gave us the chances to explain so there is no misunderstanding.. maybe you are hurt by us.. but didnt you think that we may be hurt by yours? come on think! dont be a pain on the neck..

say.. to "you".. surely you wont ever read my blog.. but for your info.. im really hurt by you.. those irritates words.. those shitting words you say to me and about me.. its not me to be blamed.. its shitting you.. go fucking to your life.. and never ever say that im the one who left you.. in reality.. it is you who dumped me.. can you recall back.. what makes us like this.. it is you.. you always made me felt guilty of what i do.. everything i do is an error.. all i want is a shit for you.. my problem are always said to be an excuses.. you never wanted to hear my explaination.. you just called that an excuses.. and you are the ones who makes me this shitting hurt.. and this is the worst regret i ever had.. what do you know about the truth.. the truth about me.. the truth about anything.. and for your shitting info.. i never sees you as my number one priority!! take your fucking ass away from here!

boys.. you are the WORST!!

p/s: i really felt like screaming to your ears so that you hear us n want to shoot you in the heart so that you feel what we feel.. but i cant.. you are my friends.. please be understanding..

REAL buzy week!!

damn.. what a busy week.. well.. i like being busy.. XD

when we are busy, we can forget silly things for a while

starting next week, ppi society must prepare for the maulidur rasul

we will be having kalam jamaie

just a week rehearse n friday will be the performance day

but i must handle the kawad

(if all of them came for the training =.=)

the intonation.. oh man n the participant for this..

next, gotta prepare for the presentation of 7th march

when Sheikh Muzaffar is coming

going to do a pentomen

BUT

who are sporting enough to give us cooperation??

props??

what an occupied week.. but who cares.. its fun.. :D

p/s: but im working hard.. :)

I Want You But I Want My Career More~

im really looking like an idiot.. feel like a crossbow bolt being shot directly to my chest and piercing my heart.. :'(  why im still hoping.. like shit! n there that otoko, saying things like im the one who didnt appreciate.. dont you know that im still hoping.. but now i am like an idiot for thinking that way.. it is out of my league..

i love my career more.. n i am going to do my super best to get my career done first.. its been in my whole dream to get that job.. but i cant take that job if i dont get 4 flat.. is that hurting you that the fact i make my future as a priority? i just want to be a successful person.. is that even illegal.. it is not easy to be a doctor.. n tell me why should i be shitting care about you being my partner?

 okay.. if you want this than it is okay.. no one has to know.. i dont understand you and you dont understand me either.. so stop for shouting out loud telling everybody that i dont understand you.. i get it.. i trully get it.. its fine with me.. let me suffer more.. please get out of my mind if you really dont care anymore.. dont go off staring at me anymore if you wanna say bad things about me.. dont hope for me if you dont wanna hope for me.. go away! get lost! go and say your story n life to the other onnas.. and say to your friend, stop looking at me like im sort of garbage or something filthy.. i didnt do anything wrong to her.. it irritates me.. if you dont want to look at me, then fine.. dont look at me.. and begone with those shitting words and that stupid faces you and your friend gives me.. leave me alone! i have enough guilt already.. why cant you just leave me alone..

i try to see you as my friend.. but look at you.. and look what you say.. isnt that is the same as what you say that im that kind of person.. oh, now im really wasting my time explaining things that you wont even try to understand no matter how much i try.. then get lost from my life..

Which One Is The Truth??

story about some complication in my organisation.. i dont know which one is right.. i just want to stick to the end.. i love my friends.. but why are they doing this? why are some people doesnt even treasure their friendship? arent friendship is the light to our darkness of loneliness?



who is actually have two faces? who is the one plotting something bad? n who is the one to blame of.. i dont know.. both sides are my friends.. n i cant really tell who is right and who is wrong.. its so confusing.. i feeling like im stuck in the middle.. although that one side, we are not really close.. still, friend is a friend..

why dont we just hug each other and forget about revenge, vengence and all of it? and see our good times together.. stop being selfish and ego.. start hearing others good advices rather that stick to your own opinion? sometimes our own opinion is not good enough.. our thoughts are limited.. if we connects and share our opinions, our knowledge can be widen n conclude the best opinion on board.. stop being ego damn it!! what good would it do by being ego? 

i dont want anyone to change this year.. but it seems like everyone is changing!! but why? i thought we really gonna be friends.. what makes everyone changed? it makes me sank into water for crying out loud so that none of you see my tears! never show you weakness.. im happy with my friend eventhough sometimes they really dumped me like im invincible.. i was really convinced that it is all my negative feelings.. so its okay :)

p/s: so, lets get along together.. friendship is precious as long it does not go over the limits.. :)

Hey, I Know What You're Having Through.. =.=

..oh my friend..

..just want you two to know..

..i know its been hard for you to..

but i just wanna see you two back together again..

..i know its hard..

..because i've been through it..

..you want to talk, but every word is silent..

..it becomes too painful n makes us flashed back of what we have done wrong..

..guilt surrounds every inches of ou lives when you saw each other..

..but, at least you try..

..dont feel regret like i am..

..you two can still work out to be friends..

..i will be praying for you both..

p/s: i was.. not was, but really hoping that we could all be friends forever.. insyaAllah..

Couple : Are Your Partner Is Yours?~

Nowadays, many boys and girls like to be in a relationship that called COUPLE. It becomes a trend where even a Primary School student as early as Standard Six began coupling. I didn't care about how or why they make out this kind of relationship, just what am I concerned is how they treated their couple partner. I've seen too many statuses at my Facebook that related with how they treat their partner. Those who are okay with their relationship, I'm fine with it. But when it comes to the problematic relationship, I can't take my eyes of it. Sometimes I've felt really irritated and angry when some boys or girl fight over their relationship. I know that they owned their Facebook account, but what they posted on Facebook will become public and anyone around the world could see it! Doesn't they felt ashamed??

One of the main reason of their fighting is JEALOUSY. One question to be asked here, do you think that your couple partner is yours? Do you think that when you couple with some boy or girl, that's make them yours, FOREVER? The answer is no, right? You just being in a relationship with them, not bought them into your life! So why you want to control their life by limiting their connection with other peoples because of jealousy? Yeah, I know what is your answer. Jealousy is a way to show that you do care to your partner. Guess what, YOU'RE TOTALLY WRONG! If you do care, you should understand them, accompany them, believing them and at most, make them happy being with you.

I've seen some statuses at Facebook that some boys or girls angry because another people came to seduced or interrupting their partner and relationship. Okay, here is how it works. If your partner REALLY loves you, she or he would ignore or deal with them accordingly. No need to be angry or insulting them on your Facebook like they would read it. It's your friends who read it and thus making other people angry by reading it. If you don't like them, don't be a coward that just can type an insulting status. Why don't you go to see that people and deal with them yourself? But for me, you should not be angry, because your partner aren't yours yet! Why would you guys fight over a person that wouldn't sure to be married with you? What a stupid things to do!

Some of you also had been limiting your couple partner life by preventing them to be friend with some people, preventing them from doing what they used to do, denying them to make something they want to do and so on. One question here, why do you do that for? They aren't yours yet, so why bother to control what they want to do in their life? Do you know what relationship means? Here is the meaning :-

Respect

Easy going

Love

Admire

Tender

Inspire

Open minded

Natural

Steady

Helpful

Indulge

Partner

Do you see any CONTROL word in the meaning above? So DON'T CONTROL your partner! Let them do whatever they want to do. If they do really love you, they should know what to do to make you happy. Being in a relationship is a happiest thing, not a sad thing. Just being single if you can't be happy in a relationship. That's more better.

p/s: copied from other's blog.. hee.. XD  

Oh Please~ :'(

somewhere in my heart still hoping.. but i dont know.. i am really confused.. who.. i let em go, but still hoping.. while hoping on that, im hoping for the others.. =.= owh mann.. how can this be resolved? ahh forget it.. open your book n read.. read about Kylar Stern!! " I'll kill you for it" haha.. kidding..

~VICTIM~

okay.. who's gonna be my victim next?? haha..

Wilayah Marching Competition.. :D

arrived at the Dataran Merdeka about 8.. im soooo nervous.. its unimagineable.. =.= before our turn, we see those boys from TTDI.. perghhh... smart gler seyh.. all their movements.. their gaya.. sooo unique.. i never seen it before.. n every movement are so sharp n they do it together like they are one.. sooo coooollll.... :D

meet my friend from the kenaikan pangkat camping that is Seyha.. :) meet her when we are going back home..

okay.. its our turn now.. n im the one who caused all the riot in our team.. i accidentally gave wrong command with the wrong timing leg.. i felt miserable.. =.= n worst is when they say that i smiled when i makes mistakes.. OMG!! i didnt even realised it.. after we keluar baris.. automatically i shed my tears.. i cannot hold it.. i trully felt miserable with my nervouses that makes it looks bad..

althought i think like that.. ckg azean, my sis, atie, hajar, yana, vino, kak rini, acap, ridhwan n others says that i did well.. well but i think im not good enough..

most of all.. my praises for my fellow squad.. you're 'perlahan jalan' for today is the smartest one among all of our training days.. im sooo proud of u all.. n thanks that you all cover me up during the commad "tukar langkah".. i know i really made a big mistakes there.. n thanks for not blaming me although that i think that u all will blame me.. of all our trainings.. number 4 is worth it.. :D

#p/s: i will do my best n repair my mistakes for the zone competition.. wish me luck guys.. x)

Marching Competition

date : 12th February 2011 ( 2 days more)
avenue: Dataran Merdeka
time: not sure.. maybe about 10.00 am - 4.00 pm
num : P9

okay.. the uniforms are all set.. :) all that is left are the formation.. but, still.. it is not good enough.. need more slogans n style.. =.='

but thats okay.. we just have to do our best.. n pray for success.. Amin~

weyhh.. hopefully i dont screwed up when giving orders as the kp.. still my throat doesnt seem to be comfortable.. hey, just hope that i didnt accidentally cough at the juries.. haha..

*looking forward for the kawad berirama from TTDI again.. :)

MERISIK!! :D

okay... of the title.. its not me.. but for my lovely cousin... today is a great day for her.. CONGRATULATIONS...