im really looking like an idiot.. feel like a crossbow bolt being shot directly to my chest and piercing my heart.. :'( why im still hoping.. like shit! n there that otoko, saying things like im the one who didnt appreciate.. dont you know that im still hoping.. but now i am like an idiot for thinking that way.. it is out of my league..
i love my career more.. n i am going to do my super best to get my career done first.. its been in my whole dream to get that job.. but i cant take that job if i dont get 4 flat.. is that hurting you that the fact i make my future as a priority? i just want to be a successful person.. is that even illegal.. it is not easy to be a doctor.. n tell me why should i be shitting care about you being my partner?
okay.. if you want this than it is okay.. no one has to know.. i dont understand you and you dont understand me either.. so stop for shouting out loud telling everybody that i dont understand you.. i get it.. i trully get it.. its fine with me.. let me suffer more.. please get out of my mind if you really dont care anymore.. dont go off staring at me anymore if you wanna say bad things about me.. dont hope for me if you dont wanna hope for me.. go away! get lost! go and say your story n life to the other onnas.. and say to your friend, stop looking at me like im sort of garbage or something filthy.. i didnt do anything wrong to her.. it irritates me.. if you dont want to look at me, then fine.. dont look at me.. and begone with those shitting words and that stupid faces you and your friend gives me.. leave me alone! i have enough guilt already.. why cant you just leave me alone..
i try to see you as my friend.. but look at you.. and look what you say.. isnt that is the same as what you say that im that kind of person.. oh, now im really wasting my time explaining things that you wont even try to understand no matter how much i try.. then get lost from my life..
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