TADAIMAA!! :D

~Bismillah hirahman nirahim~

~Assalamualaikum~

TADAIMA!!

Its been a long time since i've updated my blog

so far in my life

there are good things and also bad things happening around me

like an english quote:

"LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES"

better keep it in mind

so that we can go through with our lives without complaining

for the good things are...

jeng jeng jeng

im in a smooth mood with my former friend right now

to be exact, my EX

pretty good huh..

and most of all

I HAD FINISHED MY SPM PAPERS!!

wooohoo..

i also learned a few or more things that are really worth it

that makes me say that

im really proud to be a muslim

im really proud to be a woman

im really proud to be who i am right now

:)

for the bad things are

i think that i spoiled up in my SPM paper

full of regrets

but theres nothing to do except tawakal

pray to Allah SWT

for a good results after i had done all my best

and the other bad things are

......................

*i've forgotten*

hah

i dont usually remember bad things that happen to me

i just see it as a trial for me

to be patience

to think about the rationality

to take moral values

rather than being down, frustrated, irritated or even feeling miserable

what's the point?

dude

you're just wasting your life being like that

without any initiative to make it better

rather that go on

and humiliated people openly in facebook

what would you get?

nothing in benefits

but 'SINS' in the unbeneficial way

think about it

just live you life happily

dont mourn it

and theeennnn

there will be some people will say

'you don't understand. you are always happy. you dont know what i've gone through.'

to be honest

thats what people always say to me directly in my face

true

i felt irritated

i felt like an alien with no feelings

i felt like "ohh im the only happy person here"

i felt like an arrow just pierced my heart

and i felt like"who am i actually in your eyes?"

i think about it really hard

like brainstorming for my exams about it

then, in conclusion

i say to myself

"my friends just dont know me"

"they say it because they didnt think about me"

and then i just let it be

pretending to be normal

i dont want it messed up with my life

that are too packed with something else

but i dont blame them

my fault of not telling them

actually i do feel like that

i've hurt soo much hearts already than

all of them hurt my heart

and of that, im sorry in my deepest heart

all of it is never meant to be done like that

this is my heart expressions... 

why that when im a bit clever than you, you would say

"hawa, you are clever already. you dont have to study"

"oh hawa, you dont need jus A, you already clever"

"ahh just go back home, you dont have to attend extra classes"

when i dont open my books in class

"yelaa.. budak da pandai kann"

when suddenly i've made alot of careless mistakes

"dont cry hawa, dont cry hawa", like mocking me

just for you info

im not that proud when all of you say

those thing to me

in fact

it really smashing my feelings

and so you know

im not clever

my brain development is sooo far that yours

you are suppose to be clever than me

i never be proud of being clever

as none of you ever asked me in class

actually i felt like im a bastard

you leave me when you want to

sometimes you really pissed me off

i sort of knowing that you dont actually like me

*just my feeling*

in the end

i dont mind

you are still my friend

i never blamed you

in fact i still care

i never keep a revenge

a piece of advice

NEVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE

just let me experience it

thats all.. salam..

p/s: not related at all with the headlines.. just noticed after i'd type all of it.. :D apologize a to be give if there are any harsh word that i've typed on my blog.. i dont know any other words to replace it in english.. haa.. farewell..

SO JUST YOU KNOW